What’s Valentine’s Day?
This month is a reminder of that main concept called “Love.” Despite receiving many bruises in our hearts and many of us could be heartbroken for many reasons, we must try as much as possible to:
“Give what is in your heart, to give not reluctanly for God loves a Cheerful Giver. 2: Corinthians 9:7”
Love in the form of marriage or a healthy relationship has been a gift for many, for others all seems fictional and only believing in God’s faith for their children brings some hope.
As such, V-Day is scheduled to be celebrated on February 14th of every year. Married couples, dating couples, people with a crush to other people and in general anyone who is involved in some sort of romance, cherishes and celebrates this day. Traditionally, people do special things for each other in order to express their true feelings. Some others, just watch the event, maybe depressed, or may not even attempt to participate of this “holiday.”
Valentine’s Day seems to have some relevance historically, according to Wikipedia and this excerpt, it seems it’s dated from the Roman empire:
“Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine.[8] The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae).[9] Valentine of Rome was a priest in Rome who was martyred about AD 496 and was buried on the Via Flaminia.”
Regardless, commerce has dedicated this date to sell flowers, cards, vacations, and many more items to all consumers involved in a relationship. For some, they truly express their love and feelings for others, others may just fake it, but for many others this might be another day. Then if V-Day is then a celebration of love, but the question is: what love really is?
What is then Love?
Some say, love is a decision, some others confuse love with lust and many other definitions, a plethora of opinions. However, God provides a precise definition in the Bible:
““For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16”
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, evenwhen we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – Ephesians 2:4-5
So, if love is associated with giving the most of what you cherish, .. to others.. As God gave his only Son to the world, to us. Love is something to be taken seriously. Most likely, anyone with kids understands this better than me, I have no kids, but thinking about it makes you believe that you are willing to sacrifice your most precious asset for others. In other words, you have to be willing to give it all, 100% even though that event could make you suffer, suffer for love. God though provides a promise, if you believe in God you will have eternal life because that’s his promise of love to us.
In Ephesians, God discusses mercy, even when we trespass and do wrong to others, he will make us “alive together with Christ.” In my view, God gives us another hint, love is compassion, is forgiving and love forgets our wrongdoings.
God even comes full circle and states:
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love – John 4:7-8”
I think that this paragraph on love means that love is reciprocal and is given from one to another, it’s not only to love God, but also to love everyone else. In fact, God states that “Anyone who does not love does not know God.” and God is love.
In other words, true love is Godly, clean, transparent, pure, the best thing that could happen to mankind and overall a mandate! You have to love everybody and by doing that, you know God!
However, when we see the definition of love, in let’s say Wikipedia:
“Love is a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection (“I love my mother”) to pleasure (“I loved that meal”). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment.[1] It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”.[2] It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one’s self or animals.[3]“
In the world, Love is tied to feelings, and affection, but in a Christian view those are simply manifestations of something much bigger than that.
Although the definition in Wikipedia of “Love” is by all means, an earthly definition, the definition found in the Bible on what love is, is way deeper and with great more substance than just plain feelings
People define love as, patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, it’s not proud, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking! , it not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, and many other traits. In general, we usually encounter the following verse in weddings and people read it during the ceremony even in some atheistic ceremonies. it’s actually a Bible verse.
On this Valentine’s day event, it seems we celebrate a concept that is deeper and more intrinsic to our own salvation than just a bouquet of flowers, chocolates, dinner, and jewelry. Love is therefore the binding force that brings the world together. I am always amazed how two strangers, completely that never met, can be one and create a family and become in a matter of months in the most important humans in the world. They did not share any bondings as siblings or nothing, they just met one day and decided to be more than a bother, than a sister, or even in many cases ore important than their own parents.
This type of love, when experienced, should be reciprocal, given back to that one person that truly loves you. Respect those who have loved you and those who abide by God’s definition of love.
Love and your Family
Some argue that once you married, you leave your family behind. The bible even instructs us to:
” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined (cleave) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
However:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1).
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).
Therefore marrying doesn’t mean abandon ship, leave your parents behind, no. You have to find a balance, because doing that that would break the principle of “Love,” love one another as I have loved you! It will be a selfish act that will end up hurting those who cared for you in the beginning of life, they gave you life, your parents. It is clearly irrational to believe that one can stop loving your family for a spouse.
There should be a healthy balance and a transition of being with your family to begin a new family with your spouse. If your spouse is not understanding of your family, or your girlfriend does not get along with your family, think it twice before you wed, or continue in such affair. Nobody is perfect, but under the precept of Love, thru Love you can then make it work, and sometimes it is not a Disney movie, it is real life, and real life is hard work. I love how traditional latin families, get together on Sundays, all cousins, brothers, wives, everyone and share meals, trips, and life in general.
Conclusion
My advice: If you are in a relationship
Are you practicing “love” with all the elements of this chart, or are you simply self-seeking not be lonely, use the other person as companion while you find a new person? Are you respecting your wife or spouse, caring for her and persevering? Are you living a truth way of life? Are you discussing with your partner any elements on what love truly mean to each other? Hopefully, you can enhance your love with that special person, maybe you can reevaluate and move on from a failed relationship.
Check if you are in a relationship with a partner that shares the definition of love found in the Bible, if there is mutual agreement on what Love is, God will bless you! if not, try to correct it, nobody is perfect.
My advice: If you are not in a relationship
I would suggest you meet new people, see if there is an old friend or old girlfriend you did not appreciate. Maybe if it’s just looks what you are looking for, you will fail. Even worst, if it is just lust with no substance you will be always empty and will end up suffering. Love is deep and when you love, you can’t hide from it. Love is a wonderful thing
In the meantime, share your love by volunteering, help a friend, a cousin, your own parents, give them love, show you care for them. God will prepare that special person that will fulfill the definition of Love for you.
Wishing you all a Happy Valentine’s Day.